Writing

McSweeney’s Internet Tendency

It’s A Comedian’s Job To Make Fun Of Everybody, And That’s Why My Act Is Entirely About 1880s Paleontologist Othniel Marsh

For What It’s Worth

One Sentence Short Stories

Points in Case

We’re Your Caramels From Three Christmases Ago, And It’s Very Unclear If We’re Still Good

Remembering Scrimby’s, the 90s’ Greatest Fast Food Chain

Remembering My Favorite Childhood Game System

My Grublin’s Day Memories

They Didn’t Have The Potato Chips We Usually Get, So I Made Sure To Grab The Most Disgusting Ones Possible

A Tribute To My Childhood Pet, Whatever It Was

Sometimes I Think About My Childhood Best Friend and Wonder “Whatever Happened to That Guy?”

A Tribute to Mr. Thompson: Teacher, Mentor, Possible Necromancer

Little Old Lady Comedy

I Probably Should Have Drunk From The Fountain Of Youth When I Had My Chance

Opening Lines For When You’re Too Busy To Read A Whole Novel

American Bystander Substack

The Sensational Ritz Brothers

Slackjaw

Annoying Things Every Stand Up Comedian Has Heard After A Show

Super Mario’s Resume

10 Amazing Facts You Didn’t Know About “The Bob Newhart Show”

The Haven

What Do We Do About Bigfoot?

Two Fifty One

Atlantis

Bigfoot

An Open Letter

Time Travel

Bilbo Baggins Says Goodbye To The Dwarves, As He Heads Back To The Shire

The Truth Is Out There

This Man, This Monster

Famous Quotations, Abridged

“You Bred Raptors?”

The Job Interview

Chuck Jones’ The Old Man and the Sea

No Bad Ideas

Fountain of Youth

Totally Useless Reviews For The Coffee Pot You’re About To Purchase

Rejection Letters Every Writer Has Received

Caring For Your Pet Woolly Mammoth

The Boston Compass

A Punk Rock Remembrance 

Cracked.com

The Filthiest Joke Ever Hidden in a Children’s Movie

5 Little-Known Sequels That Ruined Iconic Stories

7 Bizarre Early Versions of Famous Cartoon Characters

6 Insane Versions of Famous Cartoons They Almost Made

The 7 Most Offensive Adaptations of Classic Comic Books

The 6 Creepiest Things Ever Slipped into Children’s Cartoons

6 Movies Plots Made Possible by Ridiculous Understaffing

Vulture Comedy

The Novels of John Swartzwelder, the Most Prolific Simpsons Writer Ever

Seinfeld: The Most Kafkaesque Show on Television

A Look at The Simpsons’ Failed Prime Time Cartoon Competitors

11 Funny Comedians With Serious Music Albums

The Comedy Innovations of Michael Nesmith

The Anarchic Comedy of Joe Dante’s “Gremlins”

UnScene Comedy

Anthony’s Rejected Spec Scripts

Anthony Walks Through New York (Cartoon)

The Intervention of Barney Rubble

On Comedy Audiences

The Secret to Great Comedy Writing (Cartoon)

My Response to the MacArthur Genius Grant Idiots

Anthony’s Thoughts on the Election

A Brief History of Halloween

Everything’s Easier with Synesthesia

Anthony’s White House Petitions

Talkin’ Tolkien: Part 1 of 137

Talkin’ Tolkien: Part 2 of 137, a Look at the Life of J.R.R. Tolkien

2013: By Way of 1962

Highlights from the Joey Ramone Auction

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