Now that Glenn Beck’s cyclone of insanity, or television series, is officially coming to an end, it seems like Fox is trying to come up with a replacement series. Or at least that’s what the news article I skimmed seemed to be saying. Whatever the case, the potential candidates that they had chosen all seemed too obvious and boring to me, so I assembled a quick list of what I consider to be better choices.
Jiminy Glick: Probably the easiest transition. In fact, most nearsighted viewers won’t even notice a difference between Beck and Martin Short stuffed into a fat suit. Also, Glick’s voice is less annoying.
Watson: The IBM supercomputer. I can’t get enough of this guy. This is how the robots will take over. The scientists design them to be so lovable, even when they’re just a personality-less black monolith with a light in the center. He could parlay his time on television into a successful campaign for the presidency.
The Harlem Globetrotters: In the 70s, it seemed like the Globetrotters were on TV all the time. When they weren’t traveling through time and space or helping out Scooby and the gang, they were winning basketball games like nobody’s business. Having a news show run entirely and produced by the Globetrotters would be a welcome return. They could report the news, the weather, conduct interviews. Really, the sky is the limit. Maybe they could also intercut backstage scenes of the Globetrotters clowning around in the editing bay or typing stuff into the teleprompters.
A Talking Cartoon Dog and a Live Action Boy: An interesting twist. I’ve never seen a cartoon host a news show, so why not go all the way and make it a talking animal on top of it? The live action boy will be there to interact with him and make the whole thing a little more grounded. Also, they’ll go on adventures or something in their free time.
C. Everett Coop: I don’t know why I find this man so funny.
The Muppets: It’s been far too long since we’ve seen the Muppets in primetime, and even then they usually star in variety shows or something. We’ve never seen a full-on Muppet news show, or even news opinion show. It could be a fun experiment.
Reruns of “Herman’s Head:” Rather than find a replacement host, Fox could just use the hour-long block to show reruns of the 90s sitcom “Herman’s Head.” I don’t know if the series is on DVD or not because I didn’t take the time to do a Google search.
Andrew “Dice” Clay: The Diceman is due for a comeback, and although he doesn’t seem like he would be as much of an asshole as Glenn Beck, he’s far more entertaining.